Here is the pumpkin vest — appropriate for Thanksgiving:

Pumpkin Vest

The next vest is a Christmas vest which I’ve lenghtened from the pumpkin vest but doesn’t have the bust darts:

Christmas Vest

This next vest is my ”sewing vest” because of the sewing motifs.  It was actually printed fabric in the shape of  a bodice that was intended to attach to a skirt.  I’d had this fabric for ages and couldn’t decide how to use it.  In my vest making frenzy, a vest seems like the perfect solution with a little added red rick rack:

Sewing Vest - Front

Sewing Vest - Back

Last, but not least, is a vest I constructed from an old jacket that never fit correctly.  I like the combination of black & silver.  It is lengthened and has added bust darts:

Black & Silver Vest Front

Black & Silver Vest - Front

At the time, I thought it would help me work through some deep emotional events in my past.  I think it did help but I wasn’t really doing the writing for myself and when I found that my efforts were being ignored I abandoned writing and used this format to post some of my sewing and cross-stitch projects. 

Recently however, I came across a book called Writing From Within by Bernard Selling – 2004 edition, published by Barnes & Noble which has inspired me to give my personal writing journey another try using the book as my guide.

 So this is my journey through the book. 

Call 386-453-1698 for more details:

Today, after watching most of the trial, I’ve changed my mind.  I now believe that CA deliberately murdered her daughter and never thought about the consequences or had any remorse.  She figured she’d just lie and everyone would believe what she told them.  Why have I changed my mind?

As the trial has progressed and her life and history has been put on display, it’s become clear to me that CA lacks empathy.  Her actions speak volumes.  She’s never done anything that reflected that she was concerned about anyone else but herself.   When she stole from friends and family she did not have the ability to put herself into their shoes, even if only for a moment.  And she used the empathy that others showed her as a weakness to be exploited. 

The only person she cares about is herself.   No one else matters.  Not her parents or her friends or even her own daughter.  We’ve heard testimony that she was a good mother but I suspect that she was a very good actress, pretending to be a good mother.  She acted like a good mother when people were around.  It makes me wonder what she was really like when she was alone with her baby.  Where did she go when she was supposed to be going to work?  Spending all those days alone with the baby must have been endless.  Not a baby anymore, Caylee was getting older.  She’d be talking soon and CA’s lies would be exposed.

That would not do for a pathological liar like CA.  Lying was a way of life for her.  She lied all the time and about everything.  Her lies were purposeful and automatic.  They were part of who she was.  They were how she lived, how she functioned and how she manipulated, gained advantage, and achieved success.  She lied with reckless abandon and even told a friend that she was a really good liar.  Mix a little truth into a lie, add some well-contrived sincerity, and it’s instantly believable. 

We’ve all met people like this.  Something about them sets off alarms in our intuitive brain.  We don’t know why, but we know they’re lying and we’re being deceived.   If asked to repeat what the lie was, it would be tough to nail down.  If challenged, they back-pedal and change their story until they can find solid ground to stand on which cannot be questioned or refuted.   A common way of referring to these people is that they are “like nailing jello to the wall.”  It’s almost impossible to pin them down.

So to the outside world CA was sweetness and light, charming, intelligent, confident, feigning success.  But, she was a chameleon who said whatever was necessary in order to get what she wanted.  No truth.  No empathy.  No soul.  Shape-shifting through life to reinvent herself to suit her audience so as to be everything to everyone.  Inside though, she is soulless.  Her biggest fear is of being found out and exposed as a fraud.  She’s arrogant, haughty, and cannot bear scorn or reproach which came across clearly during the trial.

CA is an empty vessel.  She uses people and then disposes of them when it’s expedient.  Her brother, her father, her mother, her child, anyone who becomes an inconvenience is disposable.   Everything in Casey’s life is about her.  Her needs.  Her wants.  No one and nothing is allowed to get in her way.  That is why Caylee had to go. 

But CA knows right from wrong.  She just believed that she could lie her way out of any situation.  It was probably not the first time in her life she’s covered up some evil deed but this time she committed a crime that exposed her true dark cold heart. 

This is why, after seeing the trial and hearing the evidence, I believe CA is guilty of the premeditated cold blooded murder of her daughter.  It’s my guess thought that she still believes she will get away with it.  We’ll see.

Beth & Heather

I call her Heather and she is my second doll. 

I’ve enthralled with doll making but I think I’ll give it a rest now and get some other projects done.  I’ve ordered a couple of doll making DVDs so I want to try it again but I have so many other things I need to do.  My next project is needle felting so stay tuned.

This is only my second serious attempt at making cloth dolls.  I have a lot of trouble with faces.  Actually, the whole process has been a challenge.

Anyway, here she is making her first debut:

One of our favorite subjects are spiritual issues as we are both Christian although she comes from a more Pentecostal/Charismatic background whereas I’m more of a fundamental Calvinist.  Even with this understanding I have often times been disturbed by things she says but ignore them believing that we both believe in the foundational Christian doctrines.   I suspect that she also is tolerating some of my beliefs without much comment.

Recently, with all the news about what is going on the Middle East, I have been comforted by the fact that God is in control of world events.  That no matter what happens it is all in His capable hands.  I mentioned this several times to Nikki in our conversation.

So imagine my shock when, just as we were ending our conversation she said to me, “God is not in control” and proceeds to give me the reasons why.  I don’t think I heard much after that because everything stopped for me when she said God was not in control.  My mind raced to try to comprehend this and it was as if I had to stop her words before they polluted my brain.  I told her it wasn’t true – what she was saying wasn’t scriptural.  I told her she was listening to the wrong people.  She kept talking assuring me it was true.  I couldn’t speak to her anymore because my emotions had gotten away from me so I told her I loved her and hung up.  Not a good way to end a conversation but certainly not an unusual reaction from me when I’m angry or hurt. 

I remember a similar episode when I was a ‘baby’ Christian going to an evangelical church with a friend who was from a Roman Catholic background.    One Sunday after church we were at her house for lunch and she told me she didn’t believe any of that stuff about Christ dying and rising from the dead.  I was so shocked but just as I was about to blurt out something I’d regret later, her phone rang.  I always felt that was God’s call for me to shut up so I didn’t say anything else.  This time God didn’t interrupt me.

Right now I need to read my Bible and think about this.  I’ve always believed in God’s sovereignty and consider it a foundational Christian doctrine and I’ve found many scriptures that support that.  However, one of the scriptures that the ‘God is not in control’ crowd site is I John 5:19:  “We know that we are from God, and that the whole world is under the control of the evil one.”

I agree but to extrapolate that out to “God is Not in Control” seems like a bit of a stretch to me. 

I’d rather believe this:  “These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

She went to school because she had to but she hated it.  It was never easy to leave the safe sanctuary of the little single wide trailer and school was probably the place she hated the most.  Kids said terrible things to her and whispered and giggled when she walked by.  They sang songs “Fatty fatty two by four” that she pretended not to hear but each word burned new scars on her heart.  Worse, she felt their eyes follow her and she felt their contempt. 

It was a long walk to and from school each day especially in the hot humid weather that was typical of South Florida.  Her legs rubbed together and the moisture, heat and friction caused a terrible rash.  She wore pantaloons under her dresses but they were thread bare within a few days.  She put cornstarch on her painful rash and kept her agony to herself.

Besides, who would care?  Certainly not her mother who was dealing with her own demons and drowning them, not in food, but in bottles of beer and whiskey.    Not her brother and sister who were younger.  Not teachers, family or disappeared fathers.  No one cared.

So, she lived in her imagination where she was beautiful and popular.  She watched the world out the trailer windows and she imagined herself doing all the fun things she watched others doing.   

Realizing it was all a fantasy, she would turn on the TV, get out the tub of chocolate ice cream, a fresh package of cookies and feel much better – if only for a little while.

This is not to say that there aren’t areas that need attention.  I’m going to work really hard to make improvements this year.  I will lose weight and get more exercise.  I will also make contact with distant friends I’ve lost touch with.  I’m going to be more considerate of others feeling, especially my dear husband.

If I can do most of these consistantly, then I’ll feel successful by the end of this year.

The condo was right on the river and recently remodeled.  The sunsets were breathtaking and the weather was beautiful.  Hubby got to fish until his heart was content and I read, napped, and did needlepoint.  Occasionally, I’d join hubby on the dock or for a sunset boat ride.   When we got bored we took long walks or rode around looking at riverfront property dreaming of having our own place on the river. 

 Way too quickly the week came to an end and we had to pack up for our hour drive home.

We’re not too sad though because we’re going back Christmas.

What I actually ended up with for my efforts was another item for the Goodwill bag.

Actually from this picture it looks pretty good although I haven’t added buttons or hemmed it.  The problem is the fit.  It just doesn’t fit correctly – too tight in the bust  and arms but loose across the back.  

I’m considering ripping it apart and making the necessary fixes.   But at this point, I’m just sick of it and need some time to work out the next best course of action – fix it or donate it to Goodwill.  

What would you do?

The train adventure began when we stopped in Tifton GA and visited the Georgia’s Museum of Agriculture and Historic Village where we rode the train.  It’s a short trip but gives you and nice overview of the village.

After we settled into our location in Blairsville, we drove over to Blue Ridge, GA and boarded the Blue Ridge Scenic train for a slow trip to McCaysville, GA/Copperhill, TN.  Scenic might be a stretch for a description of this trip but it was a beautiful day.

The most scenic part of our trip turned out to be from Brasstown Bald which is billed as the highest point in GA with its own weather system.  The views were impressive.

The tricky part was getting down the mountain which is a long steep decline.  We smelled the brakes before we realized that smoke was escaping from them.   

After that we stayed away from steep mountain roads opting instead to sit on the cabin porch and watch the leaves fall.  

Santas & Snowmen

This was a fun project – easy and relaxing – mostly worked on while watching television in the evening.